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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25196818">dance around the living room (lose me in the sight of you)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinefleur/pseuds/sunshinefleur'>sunshinefleur</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aged-Up Character(s), Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan &amp; Lee Jeno Are Best Friends, M/M, Making Out, Mark Lee &amp; Suh Youngho | Johnny Are Best Friends, Mentions of alcohol, Minor Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Past Relationship(s), Single Parent Mark Lee (NCT), Slow Burn, but only by a couple years, first fic hhhhh, lapslock for the aesthetic, maybe? we'll see, not beta read pls be kind, wedding planner!donghyuck</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:26:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,746</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25196818</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinefleur/pseuds/sunshinefleur</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>years after a messy breakup, mark and donghyuck find themselves as neighbors. in his journey to get back with donghyuck, mark learns that nothing good in life comes easy (but having an adorable little daughter helps)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>110</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi! i hope you enjoy, feel free to leave any constructive criticism you might have here or on my twt (@fuIIpeach (those are capital i's hhhh)) :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>mark sat serenely at the kitchen counter sipping his tea. it had been another long night at the studio, but the morning brought the promise of a new day (and most importantly, a day off), and he was satisfied with the work he’d done the night before. with one of his clients preparing to release a new album, his days had been getting longer and longer, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t love it. he lived for the feeling of watching a track come together under his fingertips, no matter how much blood, sweat, and tears it took to get there. in fact, mark’s only regret was that he couldn’t spend more time with summer. he frowned as he thought of the hundreds of hours his daughter had spent with johnny instead of him. <em>maybe i should ask for a week off. i could always work from home, it’s not like i don’t have the equipment i need here.</em> the sound of a slamming door snapped him out of his thoughts, and he immediately turned his eyes to his own front door. it stayed closed, which meant that the sound had to come from the apartment next to his cozy little corner one. he peered out the window to see a moving truck driving away, which confirmed his suspicions that he finally had a neighbor again. the previous owner of the space had been kicked out for having secret pets, and mark had been quite sad to see her go since summer loved playing with the puppies. he could only hope that his new neighbor would be as nice, summer could use some interaction with people other than him and johnny.</p><p>mark stretched to clear his mind as he stood up and went to get summer out of bed. she was already half awake as he walked in, and a smile spread across his face as he watched her rub her eyes with tiny fists. “papa?” she yawned.</p><p>“yes, baby, it’s me. did you sleep well?” mark couldn’t hold back his giggle as the little girl seemed to immediately perk up and launched into a monologue about the dream she had had. the details weren’t completely clear to him, but he understood something about a dragon and a wizard, and that seemed to be enough. she fell quiet while eating her stack of pancakes, piled high with strawberries and topped with just enough whipped cream to make her happy without going overboard on the sugar. mark ate with her, enjoying his own stack of blueberry pancakes with the classic butter and maple syrup toppings. once they had eaten and cleaned up, mark turned to summer with an excited look on his face. “baby, guess what?”</p><p>“what, papa?” her excitement was starting to match his own.</p><p>“we have a new neighbor! how about we make some cookies and bring them over so we can say hi?”</p><p>“can they be chocolate chip?”</p><p>mark sighed, knowing that more of the chocolate chips would end up in his daughter’s belly than in the cookies. “of course, if that’s what you want.” that confirmation was all it took for summer to run into the kitchen and start babbling about finding the ingredients, and mark couldn’t help but chuckle at her energy as she bounced on the balls of her feet to try and peer into the pantry.</p><p>the rest of the morning passed quickly in a flurry of flour clouds, broken eggs (mark might’ve been a bit too ambitious in cracking his eggs with one hand), and mysteriously disappearing chocolate chips, but the smell of fresh cookies wafting through the apartment made it all worth it. the two bakers had decided to have some quiet time after the cookie chaos, and so mark scrolled through the news on his phone while summer attempted to put together a puzzle that seemed to be bigger than her. however, their silence was soon broken by faint classical music drifting through the wall they shared with their neighbor. it sounded like a cliche wedding march, but the melody clearly wasn’t unwelcome as summer started to dance. “sum, do you want to learn a special kind of dance?” she nodded, and mark got down on his knees so he could properly teach her how to slow dance. the two of them stumbled around for a bit on the living room floor as mark adjusted to having his knees be his new feet, but they eventually reached a rhythm and summer’s joy showed clearly on her face as mark whirled her around to the music, their phone and puzzle left forgotten. the song finally came to an end, and the duo collapsed on the floor giggling. but unfortunately, that fun came at the cost of their cookies, as mark suddenly smelled something burning. he rushed to the oven to find that all of their hard work had been for nothing, because the cookies were almost completely blackened. luckily, he’d gotten to them before the smoke alarms had gone off (unlike last time… he shuddered at the thought of his snickerdoodles gone wrong), or the whole thing would’ve been a much bigger disaster. summer wasn’t too disappointed, she just laughed at the pout on her dad’s face before going back into the living room to finish her puzzle. well, it could be worse. mark reasoned. at least he still had enough ingredients to recreate the recipe, maybe he could bring some (hopefully unburnt) cookies over while summer napped. with a sigh and a silent prayer to the food gods, he started making lunch.</p><p>the meal went off without a hitch, mark hadn’t found a way to mess up grilled cheese and summer ate her whole serving, so he counted it as a win. as summer’s post-lunch tiredness started to hit, he carried her to bed and took a second to adore her sleeping face. the reason she existed might not have been ideal, but he didn’t love her any less because of that. if anything, he loved her <em>more</em> because he knew he was all she had, and he was determined to give her the best life he could. he brushed her soft curls away to plant a gentle kiss on her forehead and made his way back to the kitchen quietly to avoid waking her up.</p><p>since they were running low on chocolate chips (summer would swear it wasn’t her fault), mark decided to make peanut butter cookies instead and just hope that his neighbor wasn’t allergic. he got them in and out of the oven without any issues (thanks to the timer he remembered to set), and arranged them neatly on one of his nicest plates before going to his room to get ready. after all, he couldn’t exactly make a good first impression in a white t-shirt and plaid pajama pants. but what would look best? a hoodie and jeans? a flannel and khakis? a whole tuxedo? in the end, he decided to mix things up a bit and go for a flannel and jeans. simple, but effective. with one last look in the mirror, he went back out to the kitchen to grab his (perfectly baked) cookies before heading out the front door. he gave his neighbor’s door three sharp knocks and heard a crash and a faint “i’ll be right there!” in response. after an uncomfortably long amount of time, the door finally opened to reveal a messy-haired man in a sunflower-patterned button up and black jeans with hand painted designs curling up the front of the legs. it was obvious he’d rushed to the door, he seemed to be struggling to catch his breath and he was still looking down at his feet while trying to fix his hair, but the patterns on his pants made something click in mark’s head. “sorry, i-”</p><p>“donghyuck?” with that, the man looked up in shock. their eyes met and a decade of memories flooded mark’s mind. however, before he could say anything else, the door was slammed in his face and he was left staring at the number 606 that hung on it, and the irony of it was not lost on him. they seemed to mock him as he stood there, unable to process what had just happened. he hesitated, but knocked again out of curiosity. “donghyuck?” he said again, more quietly this time.</p><p>“fuck you. go away.” the voice sounded clear, almost like he was waiting on the other side of the door for mark to knock again.</p><p>“can i at least give you these cookies? as a welcome to the building?”</p><p>“no.”</p><p>mark sighed. he remembered how stubborn donghyuck could be, and figured pushing it wouldn’t get him any further. although, mark supposed, he did have reason to be stubborn with him. with a heavy heart, he walked the short distance back to his apartment, head spinning as he tried to figure out how to get through to the other man. he was suddenly exhausted by the unexpected confrontation he’d had with his past, and decided to join summer in her bed for a nap instead of trying to be productive like he had wanted. he had to admit, having donghyuck this close scared him. what if he messed up again? he didn’t think he’d be able to handle it if he hurt donghyuck even more than before.. but the exhaustion continued to set in, and he simply held summer closer as he drifted off to a space where his thoughts couldn’t reach him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>the previous chapter felt a bit short so i tried to make this one Meatier, enjoy :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>on the other side of the wall, donghyuck wasn’t doing much better. for a split second, he even debated moving out just to get away from mark and everything he made him feel. he only realized he was crying when he saw his tears drip onto the floor where he sat curled into a ball, trying to hide himself from his memories. the sound of his doorbell ringing startled him and he whimpered at the thought of facing mark again, but quickly groaned once he heard yelling outside. he’d forgotten that he had invited his three best friends to help him move in, and he couldn’t think of anything worse than facing them like this. but, he knew he’d have to let them in eventually, and so he dragged himself over to the door to open it.</p><p>renjun, jaemin, and jeno fell silent as they took in their friend’s appearance. with puffy eyes, a runny nose, and uneven breaths, he’d clearly seen better days. no questions were asked as they engulfed him in a messy group hug and shuffled to the sofa, with yelps of pain being let out every so often when someone’s foot inevitably got stepped on. the four of them collapsed on the sofa and waited for donghyuck to say the first word. “i’m sorry,” he finally hiccupped out.</p><p>“no,” jeno cut him off firmly, but kindly, while renjun and jaemin worked on getting them into a comfortable position for some much-needed cuddling. “ you have nothing to apologize for, except for maybe that terrible photo of us you have on your counter over there. seriously, what were you thinking? anyone who walks in here is gonna think we’re professional clowns or something.” he chuckled to try and lighten the mood, and it worked as donghyuck let out a small smile through his tears. it was true, that WAS a really bad photo of them. they were all dressed as actual clowns, facepaint and everything, at a halloween party where everyone else’s costumes were more along the lines of cat ear headbands and fake vampire teeth. but donghyuck didn’t care, he had chosen that photo because they were all mid-laugh and he swore their smiles could light up his apartment on their own. moments like this, where they were all snuggled together with their heartbeats syncing up, had become rarer as they got caught up in college work and their own lives after graduating, but they always made sure to make time for each other and their friendship had stayed strong because of it.</p><p>“hyuck? baby, you’re spacing out on us, come back,” jaemin’s voice brought him back to reality and he took a deep breath before turning to face them.</p><p>“mark’s here,” he whispered, as if saying it any louder would make mark appear right in front of them.</p><p>the other three looked at each other in shock as if to confirm they’d heard him correctly. “say that again, hyuck?” jeno asked, with an undercurrent of worry in his otherwise neutral tone.</p><p>“mark’s here,” donghyuck said, with more conviction this time. “he’s my neighbor and he came over today to bring me cookies to welcome me but i said no and told him to fuck off but he still lives right next to me and it’s not like i can just move out or anything but he’s literally right on the other side of the wall and that’s closer than we’ve been in years and-” donghyuck cut himself off with another deep breath. “mark’s here,” he said simply.</p><p>there was a pause as they all tried to wrap their heads around what had been said. “hyuck,” renjun started slowly. “how does that make you feel?”</p><p>he hesitated to answer. his friends had been helping him get over the breakup for the past few years, and even though him crying didn’t exactly hide how much he was struggling, he didn’t want to make them feel like all of their work had been for nothing. “it’s… fine,” it almost seemed like he was trying to convince himself, not them. “i just have to get used to the idea, i guess. it’s not like we’ll see each other very much.”</p><p>it was obvious that they didn’t buy his answer, but donghyuck pleaded with his eyes for them to not push it any further, so they sighed and left it alone. “okay, well, whenever you decide you want to talk about it, you know we’ll be here. for now, how about we get some life into this new apartment of yours?” jaemin stood up from the couch and headed over to the pile of boxes in the corner, pulling out the one that held donghyuck’s picture books of flower arrangements and wedding venues for work and placing each collection on different tables in the space.</p><p>“i’m with jaemin on this one,” renjun nodded. “but how about we set up the TV first? we can invite chenle and jisung over too and have a movie night, i’ll even pay for the pizza. i think you could use a fun night in, right guys?”</p><p>jeno and jaemin were quick to agree, and got to work figuring out how to haul donghyuck’s comically large TV onto its stand (jeno would argue that he was doing most of the work, to which jaemin would reply “i’m the brains, you’re the brawn. now move it a bit to the right.”) while renjun went to the kitchen to make everyone some coffee and text the other boys. it was definitely going to be a long night.</p><p>the rest of the afternoon passed in a blur as renjun, jaemin, and jeno, suddenly interior design specialists, bickered over where to put donghyuck’s belongings to make the space feel most like home, and all donghyuck could do was laugh as jeno got ganged up on one too many times and went on a pillow-launching tirade. by the time chenle and jisung showed up, the apartment was a mess of pillows and blankets, but donghyuck wouldn’t have it any other way. he could be anywhere, but as long as he was with the people he loved, he would be home.</p><p>-----------------------------------------------</p><p>a few hours later, the six friends had stomachs full of pizza and hearts full of joy from the disney movie marathon they’d just finished. jisung still had happy tears in his eyes from the ending of frozen 2 and chenle couldn’t stop cooing at him, but jaemin had taken it to a whole other level by practically burying jisung with his body and wrapping him up in a bear hug. renjun, jeno, and donghyuck watched in amusement as chenle joined the pile, much to jisung’s dismay, and let out a bright laugh. renjun eventually took pity on jisung and went to help him shake the other boys off, but jeno stayed by donghyuck’s side, watching him carefully. out of their whole group, they had been friends for the longest time, and jeno could read donghyuck in a way not even mark had been able to replicate. he knew that even though donghyuck had been working for years to reduce his need to please everyone all the time, a bit of that overeager teenager was still inside him, making him mask what he was really feeling in order to make his friends happy. donghyuck felt jeno’s eyes on him and raised his eyebrows in a silent question, but jeno only shook his head and turned his attention back to the mess in front of them. he would open up when he was ready, jeno knew that too. however, he was surprised by donghyuck nudging him with his shoulder. “what’s up?” jeno inquired quietly, as to not draw attention to themselves.</p><p>“could… could you sleep over tonight?”</p><p>jeno softened at the thought. the two of them hadn’t had a sleepover by themselves since their little band of friendship grew to include the others years ago, but there was no way in hell he would ever turn down a request for one from donghyuck, especially not now. with a gentle “of course i can,” he wrapped his arm around the other man and pulled him in close. donghyuck relaxed in his hold and let his head drop down onto his shoulder with a small yawn. jaemin noticed his yawn and signaled to the others that they should probably head out, so after exchanging an almost ridiculous amount of hugs and forehead kisses with donghyuck, jeno, and each other, renjun, jaemin, jisung, and chenle left the apartment, leaving the remaining two in sudden silence.</p><p>“well,” jeno chuckled. “that sure was something, it’s been ages since we got everyone together.”</p><p>donghyuck smiled back, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. jeno got the hint and stood up off the sofa, offering a hand to help the other up, and they walked hand in hand to the newly decorated bedroom. donghyuck pulled some clothes out of his dresser for himself and jeno, and they changed before flopping onto the bed and getting under the covers. the silence of the night was too much for donghyuck, so he played some soft music on his phone and turned to face jeno again, listening to the gentle melody as he collected his thoughts. “jeno, i’m scared,” he finally let out. “you’ve all been working so hard to support me and i feel like me being scared basically wastes all of that, but i can’t help it. you remember what i was like after the breakup, i just don’t want to feel like that again.”</p><p>jeno nodded thoughtfully. “yeah, that was a scary time for all of us. it was like you’d lost everything that made you you. but look, you’ve grown so much since then. you’re more you than you were even before mark, and that shows that nothing we did to help was ‘wasted’, even though we both know you did that all by yourself.” he paused before continuing. “if anything, i think you being scared is a good thing. it shows that you know how far you’ve come and how willing you are to try and stay in this headspace you’ve built, give yourself some credit.”</p><p>“when you put it like that… i guess you’re right? i’m not necessarily scared of him or what he could do to me, it’s more about what i might do to myself now that i know he’s right there. just seeing him today brought back so many memories of that day and it was almost like reliving the whole thing.” he took a shaky breath. “what threw me off the most was that he was <em>nice</em>. even after finding out <em>i’m</em> his new neighbor, he still tried to give me the cookies.”</p><p>“well, i’m definitely not gonna tell you to give him a chance, because that didn’t exactly work out too well last time,” they both chuckled bitterly. “if i’m being honest, i still haven’t forgiven him,” jeno confessed. “i was ready to run over and beat him up when you told us everything, but i think jaem and junnie would’ve killed me if i did. you know you’re allowed to be angry too, right? you don’t have to forgive him, no matter what you’ve been hearing for the past few years. as long as you don’t actually take it out on him, i don’t think there’s any harm in using that anger to build yourself up and show how much better off you are without him.”</p><p>donghyuck hummed, considering the idea. “i like being angry more than being sad, that’s not a bad plan. i just wish there was a way to make the scary part of this go faster.”</p><p>“i know hyuckie,” he reached out and stroked donghyuck’s hair comfortingly. “but all you can do for now is your best. as long as you keep trying to push past that fear, that’s enough. <em>you’re</em> enough, no matter what.” he finally pulled donghyuck into his chest and kissed the top of his head, hoping that one act could convey more than the words he came up with. donghyuck smiled softly at the affection, jeno’s wish clearly coming true as he snuggled further into the embrace.</p><p>they laid in silence for a while until donghyuck could hear jeno’s breathing even out. he felt himself drifting off too, but took a second to think about everything. he couldn’t deny that he was still scared. after everything that had happened, he’d be more worried about not being scared. but jeno had made some points that donghyuck hadn’t realized he needed to hear. he didn’t have to be nice to mark. in fact, he didn’t have to come in contact with him at all if he didn’t want to. all that mattered was that he was strong enough to handle anything that didn’t quite go to plan, and he had his friends by his side to catch him if he fell. and with that thought in his mind and jeno’s arms still snugly around him, donghyuck finally gave in to his exhaustion and let his eyes droop shut.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i promise i'll get out of the habit of ending chapters w one of them falling asleep hhhh</p><p>i might do a flashback to the day of the breakup for the next chapter, we'll see what happens :D no matter what, be ready for Angst</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>jeno woke up the next morning to a still sleeping donghyuck curled around him and the sound of an aggressively buzzing phone on the nightstand. extracting himself carefully from donghyuck’s grip, he rolled over to check his phone, only to find that the vibrations were coming from the other’s phone. </span>
  <em>
    <span>boss, pick up or you’re dead, </span>
  </em>
  <span>the name on the screen read. so, naturally, jeno left it alone. he did, however, shake donghyuck awake (maybe a bit too violently, if the bed shaking was anything to go by) in a panic once he noticed the four other missed calls from the same person. donghyuck merely groaned and pulled the covers over his head in an attempt to get away from jeno’s efforts to wake him up. “just five more minutes, please?” he begged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“hyuck, no, you gotta get up NOW.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“but why?” donghyuck whined. “it’s comfy under here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you have five missed calls from your boss.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“oh sh-” donghyuck scrambled to catch his phone as jeno tossed it to him and paled when he saw the date. how could he have forgotten about the clients he had booked for today? he almost passed out when he finally noticed that it was 10:30. using some quick math, he calculated that he was fucked. he only had a half hour to shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, and head to work, which was luckily only 10 minutes away. jeno saw the panic in his eyes and only pushed him towards the bathroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i’m guessing you need to get out of here quick, so go jump in the shower. i’ll set some clothes out for you and make breakfast.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i owe you big time jen, don’t let me forget it!” donghyuck yelled over his shoulder as he ran to turn the water on. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>jeno chuckled as the speed his friend had run out of the room but snapped out of it quickly. he had some work to do if he was going to help donghyuck get to work on time. he stepped over to the closet and inspected the articles inside carefully. he knew this had to be an important meeting if donghyuck was this stressed about it, so after some consideration, he picked out a blue silk button up along with some black skinny jeans that he had always thought looked amazing on him. he hoped that would be dressy yet casual enough, but couldn’t dwell on his choices any longer since he had a breakfast to make. and so, with just a bit more care than donghyuck, he hurried to the kitchen to get started.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>in the shower, donghyuck was still thinking about the events of the previous day. he was almost scared to leave his apartment out of fear of seeing mark again, but he shook his head at himself for thinking that. one of the promises he had made to himself after the breakup was that he would never hold himself back for a boy, and not leaving his apartment sounded an awful lot like holding himself back. he’d just have to come up with other ways to deal with having mark right next door. maybe he could get him to move out somehow? what if he made him think his apartment was haunted? he was jolted out of his scheming by jeno knocking on the door telling him that he had 15 minutes to get to work, and turned off the water immediately. with a towel around his waist, he ran back to his room and smiled at the outfit jeno had chosen for him (jeno had told him numerous times how much he loved those jeans on him) before quickly putting it on and rushing to throw his phone and wallet into his bag. his hair was still slightly damp, but he prayed to every god he could think of that it would dry by 11:00. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>jeno greeted him in the kitchen with a breakfast sandwich and a smoothie, and donghyuck only had time to shoot him a grateful smile as he grabbed the food and opened the door to head out. however, he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw what was sitting right outside the entrance. “hyuck, you good? did you forget something?” jeno called to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>hyuck only stared at the ground in response. at his feet was a plate of cookies with a note on top, on which his name was lettered carefully in unmistakable handwriting. but before he could think about it too much, his phone buzzed angrily from within his bag, reminding him of the importance of today. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“yeah jen, i’m good! heading out now, thanks again for everything!” donghyuck rushed to pick up the plate and winced a bit as the door slammed behind him, making his departure definite. however, he now had another problem: what to do with the cookies. he knew it would look bad if he walked in late with cookies, and he wasn’t about to keep them for himself, so he chose the logical option of throwing them into the nearest garbage can. just as he lifted the plate to the mouth of the can, he heard someone clearing their throat behind him and turned around curiously. mark stood almost shyly, with a hint of sadness behind his eyes as he spoke. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i… i baked those for you, i promise they’re not poisoned if that’s what you’re worried about…” he trailed off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i know.” fixing mark with an icy glare, donghyuck held eye contact as he let the cookies fall into the trash, plate and all. he almost felt guilty for a second when he saw mark’s face fall slightly (he had never liked making people upset, no matter how much they’d hurt him), but that feeling soon disappeared as mark’s face hardened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“alright. have a nice day.” mark bit back before turning into his own apartment and slamming the door behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the scene replayed over and over in donghyuck’s head as he flew down the stairs, but it wasn’t until he had collapsed into the backseat of a taxi that he actually processed about what had happened. he almost chuckled at his own bravery; he was surprised he’d managed to pull something like that off, but maybe his little shower pep talk helped him get over his fear. however, he still couldn’t wrap his head around mark’s expression when they had locked eyes for the first time. he’d almost seemed to shrink under donghyuck’s gaze, like he was scared of what could happen. during all the years they’d spent together, donghyuck had </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>seen that look on his face. no matter what, mark was always confident and in control of any situation he got himself into, so what made this time different? but before he could think that maybe, just maybe, it was because of him, the taxi reached his workplace and he had to face his clients. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck loved his job as a wedding planner, don’t get him wrong, but today was not on his side. mark’s face didn’t leave his mind all day, which left him incredibly distracted and prone to mistakes. most of them were minor and easily fixed, but it still wasn’t like him to be so out of the zone. donghyuck winced at the look his boss gave him as he almost brought out the wrong cake sample </span>
  <em>
    <span>again</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but hoped his silent nod would work as a apology for now. his boss, doyoung, sighed and ushered him out into the main room with the right cake, but donghyuck knew he was in for a talking-to later. to his surprise, doyoung was quiet as they cleaned up together after the clients had left. there was a bit of tension in the air, but donghyuck would gladly take tension over a scolding. however, any luck he thought he had disappeared when doyoung asked if they could eat a late lunch together. donghyuck knew he had no way out, so that was how he found himself sitting across from his boss in the cafe next door, awkwardly fidgeting as they waited for their orders to arrive. it wasn’t until after they had both started eating when doyoung finally started talking. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you know, i was going to wait a bit longer to tell you this, but i know you’re beating yourself up inside because of your performance today so i think this might help get you back on your game,” doyoung paused and took a deep breath before continuing. “something came up with my parents so i’m moving back home in a couple of months, and i want you to take over the business.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the sip of tea donghyuck had been attempting to swallow came flying out of his mouth and he spluttered frantically, trying to process the bomb that had just been dropped on him. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span>? even after everything that happened today? i’m not even your best planner, i don’t get it!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>doyoung was almost frustratingly calm as he helped clean donghyuck up. “yes, you, </span>
  <em>
    <span>especially </span>
  </em>
  <span>after today. it’s not as ridiculous as it seems, think about it. you may not be perfect, but you always try your damn best to do things well and become better at everything you do. even today, anyone else would’ve given up after that many things not going right for them, but you just put on a smile and buckled down, making sure that you didn’t make that same mistake again. granted, you did end up getting a bit… creative, but you made it work. i guess i see a bit of myself in you because of that. so, what do you say? will you accept the position?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck scanned his boss’s face suspiciously, looking for any trace of a joke on his face. “you’re not messing with me, right? this is actually something you want me to do?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“oh no i’ve been discovered, bring out the hidden cameras,” doyoung deadpanned. “yes donghyuck, i’m 100% serious. it’s fine if you want some time to think about it, but there’s genuinely no one else i’d rather have take over my position.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“no, i’ll take it!” donghyuck jumped at the chance; he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. as head planner, he’d be responsible for the largest events they were tasked with putting on. donghyuck had seen doyoung work himself to the bone for a couple of particularly difficult clients, so he knew the pressure that came with the role, but doyoung’s words of faith in him had boosted his confidence a bit. oh, and he’d get a pretty nice pay raise, but that came as an afterthought. he was sure the excitement showed on his face as doyoung smiled at him (which was monumental in and of itself, doyoung usually saved his smiles for his clients) and they walked back to their shop together after paying for the food, both of them filled with bliss at the idea of the future. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---------------------------------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark groaned and sank to the floor as his door slammed behind him. he couldn’t explain why, but tears welled up in his eyes as he replayed the events of the last minute in his head. he had to snap out of it quickly, however, when summer waddled over to him, curious as to why her dad had chosen the least comfortable place in the apartment to sit. mark quickly wiped his eyes and pulled her into his lap for a hug. even if everything felt like it was going wrong, he was comforted by the fact that he would always have her. however, summer wasn’t having any of her dad’s mushiness today, and squirmed out of his grasp to pull him over to the living room carpet to play with her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“not now sunshine, papa’s gotta make us breakfast!” mark tried to sound cheerful, but even he could tell that his voice was falling flat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“but i don’t wanna eat,” summer whined. “my dolls are sad!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you have to eat </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span>, baby,” mark pleaded. “how else are you gonna get the energy you need to grow into a big, strong girl?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“but papa…” summer trailed off until she burst into tears, clearly unhappy with the situation. mark was, quite frankly, mildly alarmed. he could usually count on his little girl to wake up smiling and ready to face the day, but something wasn’t right today. he picked her up gently and rocked her until he could hear her sobs turn into small sniffles, and that was when he took the leap to ask what was wrong. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“papa’s sad,” summer finally hiccupped. “and papa won’t play with me and be happy.” mark’s heart dropped at the thought that his own moods affected her this much, and he made a silent vow to be more careful about how he acted around her in the future. but what could he do now? they still needed to eat, but mark wasn’t about to leave his daughter in such an emotional state and he doubted he could cook while holding her. shifting her weight to one arm, he pulled his phone out of his pocket to check his schedule for the day, and an idea popped into his head when he saw that he wouldn’t be needed at the studio today. he quickly searched for a contact and hit the call button before putting the phone to his ear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“mark? what’s up?” </span>
  </em>
  <span>mark breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of his best friend’s voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“hey johnny, i know it’s kinda sudden but could summer and i come over for breakfast? i’ll explain once i’m there, i promise,” the words fell out of mark’s mouth in a rush and he could only hope that johnny had understood him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“of course, you know you both are always welcome here. jae’s here too since he had the day off so i’m sure we can whip something up real quick. oh, summer hasn’t seen him in a while, has she? i bet that’ll be fun for her!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>the excitement was clear in johnny’s voice, and a wave of gratitude washed over mark. he didn’t know what country he’d saved in a past life to have johnny as a friend now, but he wasn’t complaining. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you hear that, summer? we’re gonna see uncle johnny and uncle jae today!” at that, summer lifted her head slightly and turned towards the phone in curiosity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“oh, she can hear me? hi summer! uncle jae and i can’t wait to see you, we’ll have your favorite waffles once you get here!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>a watery smile spread across summer’s face as she thought about the waffles (and uncle jae, of course), but she didn’t have the words to respond and buried her face back into mark’s shoulder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“she heard you, we’ll be there in a bit!” mark’s voice dropped slightly as he went on. “seriously man, thank you. i owe you big time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“the only thing you owe me is an explanation,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>johnny chuckled. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“don’t worry about it, just get over here before the waffles get cold.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>the call ended after that and mark rushed to get summer ready to leave. she had brightened up a bit over the course of the call, but mark hoped his friends could help get her back to her usual brilliance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>half an hour later, the father and daughter stepped into the infamous johnjae residence and were immediately greeted by the warm scent of fresh waffles and coffee. summer squealed and ran to jaehyun once he walked into view, and he picked her up and spun her around with ease, their giggles blending together to create a beautiful melody. even after he had put her down, summer didn’t let go of jaehyun’s hand and instead pulled him to play with her in another room. mark didn’t even realize he’d been staring until johnny nudged him with his shoulder and nodded in the direction of the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“she’ll be fine with him for a while, she doesn’t even seem that hungry yet. you, on the other hand…” johnny pushed mark into a chair and set a plate of food in front of him. “eat. and talk. you usually don’t visit this suddenly, what’s up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark visibly tensed at the question. “man, i don’t even know where to begin. there’s just so much.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“try the beginning,” johnny joked, but the look in his eyes let mark know that he would be willing to wait as long as he needed to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“well… donghyuck’s my neighbor now?” mark winced as the fork johnny was holding clattered to the floor. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“donghyuck? as in lee donghyuck? the guy you had that really messy breakup with?” johnny asked incredulously, leaving his fork on the floor in favor of widening his eyes at mark.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark sighed. “yeah, that’s the one. small world, isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“holy shit, yeah it is. how’s that working out for you?” johnny picked up his fork and, completely ignoring the five second rule, used it to take a bite of mark’s eggs while gesturing for him to explain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“well, if i’m being honest, not too great,” mark couldn’t hide his misery in front of his best friend, and launched into a retelling of every interaction he’d had with donghyuck so far, only pausing to coo at summer when she walked in with jaehyun to grab waffles to bring to their playroom. johnny listened intently the whole time, but a deep frown wrinkled his face by the end. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you know, you never actually told me about what went down between you two,” johnny remarked after sipping from his coffee. “does he have a reason to be that cold to you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“maybe? but i don’t know, i guess i thought he’d be over it by now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“do you wanna tell me what happened? maybe i can help you figure it out,” johnny pushed him gently, making it clear that mark had the complete freedom to choose how much he revealed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark thought for a moment. what did he have to lose? and with that, he took a deep breath and started telling the story of him and donghyuck.</span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i can't believe this chapter is 3k what's gotten into me</p><p>i know i said this last time but the Tragic Backstory is now gonna be the next chapter for sure!! hopefully it won't take as long as this did hhhh</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>keep in mind that this is only mark's pov...!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>for as long as they could remember, they had always been markanddonghyuck. despite mark being a grade above donghyuck, the close friendship of their parents had helped their bond grow stronger too, and so where one went, the other followed. their childhood was filled with memories of sweet ice cream dripping down their chins as they played in the summer sun, sneaking away from family dinners to be together while the adults talked, and secrets told through hushed whispers at sleepovers. in fact, it was at one of those sleepovers that donghyuck told mark that he was gay. donghyuck had always been the more confident of the two, despite mark being older, but mark remembered being struck by how vulnerable donghyuck had seemed in that moment and feeling the urge to protect him from every evil in the world. that ended up being the first night of many where donghyuck fell asleep tangled in mark’s arms, both of them feeling peaceful and warm simply by being in the other’s presence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark never really quite understood how he wanted donghyuck to fit into his life. he watched his friends go on dates in middle school and decided he wanted to do that too, but any semblance of a relationship he had would fall apart quickly because donghyuck always came first. perhaps it was just a case of emotional immaturity, but mark grew more and more frustrated at the fact that he couldn’t keep any romantic interests satisfied for more than a week even during his freshman year of high school and attempted to distance himself from donghyuck in a bid to save his reputation. however, when donghyuck showed up to his house one night with tears streaming down his face and mark’s favorite candy as an apology for whatever he had done wrong, mark realized he couldn’t do it anymore. he </span>
  <em>
    <span>needed </span>
  </em>
  <span>donghyuck. he opened his arms for the younger to run into and felt tears spring to his own eyes as donghyuck clutched him tightly and sobbed into his neck. they spent the rest of the night lying on mark’s bed and staring up at the glow in the dark stars on his ceiling while exchanging stories, catching up on lost time. mark felt something unexplainable shift within him that night, and if he held donghyuck a little bit closer as they slept because of it, well, no one needed to know.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck spent the summer before his freshman year in korea with his extended family, and mark struggled to distract himself from the ache in his heart whenever he had to sit through yet another dinner by himself or attend a party on his own. it wasn’t enough to see his best friend’s face on the tiny screen of his phone and he couldn’t help but feel lonely. when donghyuck finally texted him that his plane had landed, mark and his family rushed to the airport to pick their friends up, and mark was practically vibrating with excitement. however, nothing could’ve prepared him for the sight he was met with as the lee family walked out into the reception area. somehow, over the course of a single summer, donghyuck had gained the last couple of inches he had needed to match mark’s height, and so they were now seeing eye to eye. mark couldn’t help himself as he raked his eyes over donghyuck, taking him in completely. the younger had an almost magnetic glow to him, probably due to the golden tan he had built up, and his hair was cut just a bit shorter than it had been when he left, exposing the majority of his forehead and accentuating his cheekbones. he looked like sunshine itself. mark’s mouth went dry at the sight, and donghyuck seemed to notice the effect he had on him as he smiled slightly and walked over. even the way he walked was different, mark noted. it was like he had finally grown into his confidence and now embodied it fully. mark tensed a bit as donghyuck enveloped him into a hug but relaxed once donghyuck’s familiar scent hit him. he lifted his arms to wrap around the other carefully, almost like donghyuck would disappear if mark held him too tightly. he pulled back when donghyuck released him and was promptly blinded by donghyuck’s bright grin. that was one thing that hadn’t changed; his boyish smile was still the same and the mischievous glint in his eyes was as prominent as ever, maybe even a bit stronger. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“hello? earth to mark? oh man, i almost forgot what it’s like when you space out on me,” donghyuck laughed as he pulled him by the hand to walk behind their parents and leave the airport. mark was left speechless by the feeling of donghyuck’s warm hand holding his own perpetually cold one, and all he could do was focus on not tripping over his own feet as they ran to catch up. donghyuck took his hand back once they were closer, and mark almost threw a damn tantrum. he wanted to hold donghyuck’s hand </span>
  <em>
    <span>forever </span>
  </em>
  <span>and hug him whenever he wanted and maybe kiss him too… oh. </span>
  <em>
    <span>well, that explains a lot, </span>
  </em>
  <span>mark thought. and so, with a lot less drama than he would’ve expected, mark reached the conclusion that he did, in fact, like his best friend romantically. however, was he going to tell him that? of course not, because emotions are for losers, and mark was </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>a loser. he did let himself become more open, though, not rejecting donghyuck’s skinship as much and making sure to laugh at all of his jokes, no matter how terrible they were. donghyuck seemed to sparkle under mark’s affection, and mark couldn’t get enough. they spent what was left of the summer together, donghyuck telling grand tales of his adventures in korea (like the time he couldn’t find his way back to his aunt’s apartment after walking down the street to a convenience store) and mark hanging on to his every word. eventually, the summer haze faded and they were launched into a new school year. this was the first time the pair actually had classes together, and they took full advantage of it by studying together whenever possible and maybe cheating off of each other too, but the teachers didn’t need to know that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>their courses got harder and harder until just an evening of studying wasn’t enough, and a couple of hours quickly turned into all-nighters that alternated between the two families’ houses. their excuse was that it was now winter, so it was too cold to walk back to their own homes when it was time to leave. but in mark’s case, he simply wanted to spend more time with the younger, and he was glad donghyuck felt similarly enough to allow him that luxury. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>it was one of those nights spent together when mark finally confessed, albeit accidentally. donghyuck had been suspiciously quiet for a while, and mark’s heart melted when he looked over to find him asleep at his desk. even asleep, donghyuck looked like an angel, and mark wanted nothing more than to be his. but, he pushed those thoughts aside as he focused on getting donghyuck out of his chair and into bed, not wanting his friend’s neck to be sore the next day. he carefully gathered donghyuck into his arms and deposited him on the bed, silently thanking past him for working out as much as he did. they were both already in pajamas, having anticipated spending the night together, so all mark had left to do was tuck him under the covers. donghyuck’s eyes fluttered open as the weight of the blanket pushed him into the mattress, but mark climbed into bed next to him and stroked his hair until his eyes fell shut again. emboldened by the darkness and his proximity to donghyuck, mark began to speak softly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you know, i have no idea how it took me such a long time to realize that i like you. from the very beginning, it’s always been you, even when i was dating all of those other girls. none of them  made me as happy as you did, and i’d be thinking about what you were doing whenever i was out with anyone. i know we’re young but being with you just feels so right,” mark whispered. “i think the term ‘soulmate’ was made just for us. like i said, it’s always been you, and it always </span>
  <em>
    <span>will be </span>
  </em>
  <span>you, too.” the exhaustion of the day sank into his bones, and his eyes started to slip shut, but he was startled awake by the sound of sniffles coming from donghyuck. he hesitated, but reached out to shake donghyuck’s shoulder. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“hyuck? are you awake?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“yeah,” donghyuck’s voice was barely there and mark had to strain to hear him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>a current of panic ran through mark as he realized that he might not have been talking to himself the whole time, but he tried to stay calm. “what’s wrong? did you have a nightmare?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“the opposite, actually,” donghyuck turned over to face him. “did you mean all of that? what you said about it being me?” he couldn’t meet mark’s eyes and his voice wavered uncertainly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark froze. he’d been caught. “i, uh, you heard that?” donghyuck was silent as he finally looked up at mark, his eyes gleaming with fear of being lied to and a bit of hope mixed in as well. mark finally gave in and inhaled deeply before giving donghyuck his answer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“yes. i meant every word. i get it if you don’t want to be friends anymore or something, but-” mark was cut off by donghyuck pressing his lips against his, and his arms flew up to hold donghyuck’s face in place. when they finally pulled apart, donghyuck was breathless and beaming with joy as he buried his face into mark’s chest. mark’s brain was still struggling to catch up, but he wrapped his arms around the younger anyway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“wait, does this mean you like me back?” mark blurted out into the silence. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck lifted his head to look at mark incredulously. “if you ask me another stupid question like that, i might not anymore, so you better choose your words carefully,” there was no bite to his words, only amusement, and mark finally let himself smile and relax into donghyuck’s touch. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i’ve liked you for years now,” donghyuck’s words were muffled by mark’s shirt. “it sucked to watch you go on dates with people who weren’t me, but i just wanted you to be happy so i let it happen. man, i didn’t even know if you liked boys.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“honestly, i don’t even know if i like boys,” mark confessed. “i think i just like you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck smiled and placed a light kiss on mark’s cheek. “even better. so, does this mean we’re dating?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“do you want it to mean that?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“more than anything.” mark kissed the top of donghyuck’s head at those words and they drifted off into sleep, each holding the other as close as they could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---------------------------------------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>telling their parents the next morning went smoothly; neither family was particularly surprised that their sons had finally gotten their shit together and admitted their feelings, and everyone remarked that it had only been a matter of time until they dated. it wasn’t too hard to keep their relationship going throughout high school, with them sharing at least one class every year and being in multiple clubs together. however, things stopped flowing as easily once mark left for college. they tried their best to make time for each other, but with mark being in such a work-heavy major and donghyuck scrambling to fill out college applications, more and more time passed between each call, and both of them went to bed hurting each night, really feeling the absence of the other. mark had a particularly difficult time one night, and, against his better judgement, turned to alcohol to help him forget his problems. he ended up at a party, where some of the frat guy hosts took him under their wing and showed him how to have a good time. for a while, they sat in a circle on the floor, the upperclassmen giving mark advice on how to survive his freshman year while he sipped on his beer and listened carefully. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i swear to you, i would not be here today if i hadn’t gotten into hookups during my freshman year, easily the best way to get rid of stress,” one of them crossed his heart completely seriously and mark chuckled, feeling a bit tipsy but reaching for another drink anyway. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i wouldn’t be against it, but i don’t think my boyfriend would be too happy.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“oh shoot dude, you have a boyfriend? what’s his major?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“he’s still in high school actually, he’s a senior,” mark took a shot that was offered to him. “we’ve been together for almost four years now.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“bro,” another man scoffed at him. “you’re in </span>
  <em>
    <span>college </span>
  </em>
  <span>and dating a </span>
  <em>
    <span>high schooler</span>
  </em>
  <span>? you really think that’s gonna work out for you?”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“yeah, that’s literally social suicide,” someone sitting on the couch behind him chimed in. “you’re basically dating a kid, they don’t get what it’s like here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>sober mark would’ve slapped the daylights out of all of them for saying anything bad about his donghyuck, but tipsy mark was a little slower to process things. the older boys’ words swirled around his head, and he took another shot to keep his thoughts from completely overwhelming him. but, one phrase stuck to him: “you’re basically dating a kid.” and the more mark thought about it, yeah, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>basically dating a kid. he and donghyuck were in completely different worlds; they just didn’t get each other anymore. after mulling over the idea for a bit longer (and a couple more drinks), with the alcohol in his system making him brave, he excused himself from the circle to make a very important phone call. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>being outside in the cool night air sobered mark up a bit, but not enough for him to realize the gravity of his actions. after a bit of fumbling, he managed to get his phone out of his pocket and dial donghyuck’s number, thanks to speed dial. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“mark?” donghyuck’s voice was drowsy, and he cut himself off with a yawn. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“yeah, hi, it’s me. listen. we’re done.” mark spoke with an air of finality that left no room for argument, but donghyuck wasn’t one to back down without a fight. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“what the fuck? are you serious? what’s going on?” there was rustling on donghyuck’s end as he sat up in bed, now fully alert.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“look, you’re just not worth it anymore. we’re in completely different worlds and there’s no way you get what it’s like here. i need someone who can match me, and you’re just not that. honestly, i don’t know if you ever were, you’ve never been able to understand what my workload’s like and you’re so damn clingy all the time and </span>
  <em>
    <span>god, </span>
  </em>
  <span>i need room to breathe. you call me whenever you’re sad and look, i </span>
  <em>
    <span>get </span>
  </em>
  <span>it, i get sad too, but it feel like i’m taking care of a child sometimes. this relationship isn’t worth the effort i’ve been putting in, i can do better here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“the effort you’ve been putting in? what fucking effort? a ten minute phone call every two weeks and the occasional text back if i’m lucky?” donghyuck couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “you’re telling me that after almost four goddamn years together, you’re dumping me because you think i’m a </span>
  <em>
    <span>child</span>
  </em>
  <span>? that i’m not good enough for you?” his voice shook a bit, but he did his best to mask what he was feeling. he could tell that mark was drunk, but he’d always been told that drunk words were sober thoughts, so he took his words seriously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“actually, yeah, that’s exactly what i’m saying, i’m surprised you caught on that quickly.” mark didn’t remember much after that, as the alcohol finally caught up to him and his filter was completely gone. in fact, the next memory he had of the whole situation was waking up the next morning in his dorm, head spinning with his first-ever hangover, and seeing an ungodly amount of missed calls and texts from jeno, renjun, jaemin, chenle, and jisung. his eyes widened in horror as he read what they were accusing him of doing, and he immediately called donghyuck in an attempt to make things right. he couldn’t even get through; donghyuck had blocked him. he frantically tried to call the others next, only to find that he’d been blocked by them too. the panic set in slowly, but surely. he’d just lost the love of his life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>as much as mark wanted to go home to see donghyuck and talk to him, he had important exams coming up over the next few weeks, so it wasn’t until almost a month later that he was able to rush home. with a quick hello to his parents as he dropped his bags off at his house, he dashed to donghyuck’s door and knocked furiously, willing the younger to open up. after about a minute, donghyuck opened the door with a sickly sweet smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“oh, mark! just who i was hoping to see. wait here for a sec, i have something for you.” mark was uneasy, that tone of voice wasn’t one he heard often and it wasn’t like donghyuck to not invite him in. it only took a minute for donghyuck to come back, carrying a box of some sort. “go ahead, open up!” donghyuck chirped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>inside the box was a dildo, laid on top of all of the hoodies mark had ever given donghyuck. “take that and go fuck yourself, yeah?” donghyuck spat sarcastically and slammed the door violently when mark looked up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he got similar treatment from the other boys as well, all of them telling him to go to hell and leave them alone. the most frustrating part for mark was that he couldn’t even remember all of what he’d said to donghyuck that night. his parents noticed that something was off, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell them about the breakup. he couldn’t handle their broken hearts on top of his own. his trip back home dragged on without the company of his friends, but eventually, he made his escape back to school and away from all of the issues he’d caused. he probably should’ve stopped taking the frat boys’ advice, but he decided to try hooking up with people to see if it would ease some of his pain. he couldn’t say he was surprised when the first girl he took home told him she was pregnant a few weeks after they’d slept together, but he was the tiniest bit angry that he couldn’t catch a break. nevertheless, he decided he had a responsibility to be present in his baby’s life, and so he was at every doctor’s appointment and ultrasound, celebrating with her when they found out they would be having a girl, but above all, hoping that his baby would be born healthy and safe. the two got closer during that time, and mark could tell that she was hoping their friendship would become something more, but he couldn’t bear to open himself up to her after everything that had happened and ended up keeping his distance. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>during one of their late night talks about the baby, the subject of names came up for the millionth time. she was almost due, and they still hadn’t managed to agree on a name. she was frustrated with him, claiming that no name she chose would ever be good enough and that she should just name the baby herself. mark struggled to hold her off as he racked his brain for something he could throw out as an option. donghyuck’s face kept popping into his vision, but he couldn’t exactly name his daughter after his ex-boyfriend, as much as he wanted her to resemble him in some way. he kept thinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“summer,” he blurted. “summer. it’ll be perfect, she can have cute nicknames and she’ll be born in june anyway! please, let’s call her summer,” he was desperate. this was the name, he was sure of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she was confused by the sudden outburst, but nodded slowly. “summer,” she tested the name out, seeing how it felt in her mouth. “maybe that’s not a bad idea.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark was relieved that she’d agreed. maybe it was selfish of him, but he wanted his little girl to carry a piece of donghyuck with her. he’d chosen the name summer because although donghyuck was the human embodiment of sunshine, a name like sunny felt too obvious and narrow to fully encapsulate the feelings he wanted to show. summer invoked childhood memories, a nostalgia for days gone by but also a sense of hope for better days ahead. even with donghyuck taken out of the equation, mark was sure summer would fit his baby perfectly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>before he knew it, mark was holding little summer in his arms for the first time, wiping his tears away as they fell onto her already tearstained face. he was right, the name </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>fit her perfectly. even though all she’d done was cry so far, she had an aura of gold that mark admired. however, his happiness was shattered when a nurse came into the room to tell him that summer’s mother had decided to give full custody to him. he wasn’t planning to marry her or anything, but he had been hoping to coparent with her so they could give summer the gift of as much love as possible. he begged the nurse to let them talk, but she refused, saying it was the mother’s request, and took summer away to put her in a crib. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark swore he’d never felt so broken. he was only 18, going into his sophomore year of college, and he had to take care of a baby </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>himself? on his own? he collapsed on the floor of the hospital wailing, letting his grief tear him from the inside out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>--------------------------------------------------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“and yeah, i think that’s pretty much the whole story,” mark swallowed the last bite of his food. “i know you were there for me through a lot of that, but i don’t think i ever gave you all of the details. and obviously, you helped a lot with summer after that hospital thing, so you know everything from there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i… wow. that’s a lot to take in,” johnny was left speechless by everything mark had gone through. “but just to be clear, you know that what you did to donghyuck was inexcusable, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark sighed heavily. “yeah, i know. seriously, i think that’s the one regret i have. that i didn’t try harder for him. maybe if i’d put in more effort, i wouldn’t have felt so alienated from him and hurt him as much as i did.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i’m not gonna lie, i have no idea how you were expecting him to just be ‘over it’ by now, and i think you know that was a long shot too. if i’m being </span>
  <em>
    <span>completely</span>
  </em>
  <span> honest, i don’t think you have much of a chance at all at this point.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i’m not a dumbass, i know </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” mark rolled his eyes. “i don’t even want a chance with him again, i’m too scared of hurting him. but i guess i just want us to be civil?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“once again, definitely a long shot,” johnny picked up their plates and went to the sink. they were both silent as the sound of running water filled the room while johnny rinsed said plates. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>finally, mark spoke up. “johnny,” his voice was small. “you don’t hate me or anything, though, right? because of all of that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>johnny hesitated before answering. “no, i don’t hate you. you were young and really fucking stupid, and i think you’ve grown and matured a lot since then. of course, you being young doesn’t make what you did okay, but i know you know that. like you said, you’re not a dumbass,” he paused before going on. “did you ever think about just how much your words might’ve hurt though? he trusted you more than anyone, from what you’ve told me, and it must’ve destroyed him to hear that you thought he wasn’t good enough.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i don’t think i’ve gone a day </span>
  <em>
    <span>without </span>
  </em>
  <span>thinking about it,” mark grimaced. “but now we’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>neighbors</span>
  </em>
  <span>, how am i supposed to handle that? he doesn’t even know about summer.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>“why not? i know you guys weren’t talking, but i thought he would’ve found out at some point.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i was scared he’d think i’d been cheating on him,” mark confessed. “she got pregnant so soon after we’d broken up and i didn’t want to make things any worse.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i hate to say it, but i think he’ll think that no matter what,” johnny wiped his hands and sat back down across from mark. “all you can do at this point is minimize the impact.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“yeah, i guess you’re right…” mark was cut off by summer running into the room and tugging on his hand, wanting to show him what she’d built with jaehyun. mark went gladly, but the look johnny gave him let him know they weren’t done talking. for now, mark let himself get lost in the wonderland summer had created, giving into the temporary distraction of her permanent love. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>why do my chapters keep getting longer help</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry this took so long :( i hope you still enjoy tho!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>donghyuck didn’t sign up for this. well, maybe he kinda did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>after getting back to the office, doyoung had helped him redistribute his clients to the other planners so that he could get started on his training, and while the idea of not being able to put his creativity to use for a while disappointed him, his excitement at the prospect of taking over the business soon far outweighed that disappointment. redistributing was easy; donghyuck hadn’t had too many clients to begin with since doyoung had decided to have mercy on him while he moved into his new apartment, but everything that came </span>
  <em>
    <span>after </span>
  </em>
  <span>that had donghyuck’s soul logging out of his body. he swore he’d never seen this much paper in his life. there were brochures for caterers, rental agreements with venues, receipts from florists, and, for some reason, a whole phone book. and his first task was to </span>
  <em>
    <span>organize </span>
  </em>
  <span>all of it </span>
  <em>
    <span>and </span>
  </em>
  <span>make a log of everything they had.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>which is how donghyuck found himself sitting in the middle of his living room surrounded by paper of all sizes and colors. he hadn’t been able to sort through all of it before his shift ended, so he decided to bring it home in order to not fall behind on work the next day. he was lucky enough to not have to worry about making dinner since jeno had predicted this exact scenario and made extra food before leaving in the morning, but even that didn’t ease the stress he felt every time he looked at the sea of processed trees before him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>nevertheless, he kept sorting and logging (and sorting, and logging) until he glanced at the clock and realized that it was nearly 3:00am. he groaned and buried his face into the pillow in his lap, frustrated by how much he still had left to do. he meant to scream into the pillow, but with the exhaustion of staying up to an ungodly hour muddling the part of his brain that controlled his coordination, he ended up letting out a blood-curdling shriek as he lifted his head from the pillow. still cathartic, but with more fright than he’d like mixed in. his entire body stilled in anticipation of angry neighbors knocking at his door, but he relaxed a bit after the knocking never came and started to get back to work. however, the sound of knuckles on wood soon stopped him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>------------------------------------------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark startled awake to a piercing scream, heart racing from fear and curiosity. his first instinct was to check on summer, and he breathed a sigh of relief once he saw that she was safe. but if she was still sleeping, where did the sound come from? as much as he hated to admit it to himself, his next thought was to check on donghyuck. </span>
  <em>
    <span>it’s just because we’re neighbors, </span>
  </em>
  <span>mark berated himself. </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’s already made his feelings clear, you’re just checking on him out of neighborly civility</span>
  </em>
  <span>. in all honesty, he had no idea what he was doing. he knew going to the other’s apartment was basically an invitation to be rejected yet again, but he had to do it. for the safety of the building. yeah.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>carefully, so as to not wake summer, he threw on the closest t-shirt and pair of pants he could find and slipped his glasses onto his face. the adrenaline from being woken up so suddenly had worn off a bit, and he stifled a yawn as he stepped out into the outside hallway. donghyuck’s door stood menacingly, seeming to taunt him with memories of what had happened last time he’d knocked. however, mark’s sleep-addled brain paid that no mind, and proceeded to send the necessary signals to make his fist knock on the door anyway. a considerable amount of time passed with no response, so mark decided to knock again, a bit more loudly and with a call to donghyuck as well. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“donghyuck? everything alright? i heard a scream, so i just wanted to-” he fell silent as the door opened and he was greeted by the sight of a very disheveled donghyuck. neither of them spoke as mark scanned his face carefully. donghyuck’s hair was an absolute mess, and he was sure no amount of concealer could hide the dark circles around his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“no, mark, i’ve been murdered in cold blood and my killer’s currently on the loose,” donghyuck rubbed his face tiredly. “everything’s fine, i was working on something and got kinda frustrated. sorry to disturb you, i’ll try to keep it down from now on.” he moved to close the door but was quickly stopped by mark’s arm holding the door open. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“well… maybe i could help you? i wouldn’t want you to have to stay up for longer than you need to, it’s already really late…” mark reached up to hold the back of his neck and cast his gaze downwards, obviously nervous to see how the other would react.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>in an unprecedented moment of weakness (and sheer desperation), donghyuck actually considered the offer. he’d already been awake for way too long, and yeah, he’d definitely prefer help from a human of the not-mark variety, but what did he have to lose? it wasn’t like they were actually spending time together, it was just a neighborly favor. mark was visibly shocked as donghyuck nodded and stepped aside to let him in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>after a few curt instructions, mark got to work putting the catering brochures into the catering brochure pile, filing the venue information into the correct binders, and doing his best to keep the size of the “i have no idea what the hell this is but it looks important” pile as small as possible (but he had to admit, he might’ve been the only reason that pile existed in the first place). they worked in silence, the sound of rustling papers filling the room, and before he knew it, mark’s portion was all sorted and accounted for. he stood up to dust himself off and wish donghyuck well for his next day of work, but suddenly stilled when he noticed the way the younger’s head had dropped onto the sofa behind him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark couldn’t help but marvel at the beauty in front of him. the tension was completely drained out of donghyuck’s face, and all that was left were soft features that only served to make him look even more angelic than he had been all those years ago. mark remembered what it was like to leave gentle kisses on his boyfriend’s button nose when they got to meet up between classes, and how his lips pressed desperately against his own on the rare occasion they had one of their families’ houses to themselves. he remembered getting lost in the depth of donghyuck’s eyes, the color reminding him of the earth he walked on every day and never failing to ground him on his worst days. he remembered feeling his heart melt whenever the younger held out his arms in a silent request for a hug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he remembered how donghyuck’s nose had scrunched in futile attempts to hold back his tears whenever they ran into each other after the breakup. he remembered how the corners of his lips turned down when he heard mark speak, and how his eyes hardened when someone mentioned his name. but, a chill ran through mark’s body when he couldn’t remember what it was like to hold and be held by donghyuck. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark only realized he was crying when he felt something wet drop onto his socked foot. he knew how unreasonable it was for him to still be in love with the younger, he couldn’t even count how many times he’d heard that he should just move on and find someone new. it wasn’t like he hadn’t tried… well, maybe he hadn’t. it wasn’t his fault that no matter what he did, donghyuck was always in the back of his mind. how could he not be, after everything they’d been through together? he felt selfish for still hoping for some kind of connection between them to be revived, but he couldn’t help it. for as long as they’d known each other, donghyuck had always been the north pole that mark’s compass had pointed towards. all paths led to him, no matter how far away mark strayed. whenever he felt lost or unsure of which way to choose, donghyuck was there to orient him and give him the clear head he needed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>at the end of the day, he’d still do anything for donghyuck, which was why he bent down to carefully pick him up and carry him bridal style down the hallway. he wasn’t entirely sure which room was the bedroom, so his journey was slowed by his need to open every door and peek into the room behind it. luckily, donghyuck stayed fast asleep in his arms, not even stirring once mark finally placed him into his bed and tucked him in. mark hated to leave him, knowing that he was clearly stressed, but he also knew it was for the best. as he turned to leave, a notebook sitting on the desk caught his eye. it wasn’t a particularly special notebook, but it looked unused, and an idea popped into mark’s head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck woke up early the next (same? he wasn’t really sure what to call it) day to the sound of his alarm going off. today was guaranteed to be another flurry of activity (and paper), and he let himself sink into his mattress for just a little bit longer to fully recharge his battery for the day. wait. his mattress? he snapped upright, suddenly aware of the blankets arranged perfectly around him. he was disoriented, to say the least. the last thing he remembered doing was wanting to rip his eyes out because of an </span>
  <em>
    <span>incredibly </span>
  </em>
  <span>poorly designed wedding dress catalog, so how’d he end up in bed? his confusion combined with the grating beeps of his alarm was starting to give him a headache, he groaned and blindly reached over to hit the button that would at least ease his misery, but his confusion only escalated. he didn’t remember his phone feeling so </span>
  <em>
    <span>papery</span>
  </em>
  <span>… oh. he examined his nightstand more carefully and found a note sitting on top of his phone, almost seeming to challenge him to open it. donghyuck wasn’t one to back down from a challenge, so open it he did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>dear donghyuck,</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>this is probably the worst idea i’ve had in a while, but i think it’s also the only way i’ll get to say what i want to say to you. i know you have no reason to, but all i ask is that you trust me as you read this. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck skimmed the rest of the letter, his heart racing as mark’s words of affection filled his mind and settled there comfortably, not unlike a butterfly fluttering to the open petals of a flower. his eyes welled up as he read of the anguish mark had gone through after their breakup, but he gripped his blankets tightly, knuckles turning white once he read the final words mark signed off with: </span>
  <em>
    <span>yours, forever and always, mark</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he was swept into a whirlwind of emotions as he refolded the note carefully and set it down. there was sadness at the struggles mark had faced on his own, without anyone to support him. there was guilt at the thought that they had abandoned each other so easily after so many years of friendship and love. there was hurt, because reading the note had brought him back to that night and forced him to relive it. there was anger at mark for thinking that he could change things between them with just a piece of paper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>but, inexplicably, a bit of hope laid underneath everything. donghyuck had done everything he could to get over mark, and he liked to think that he’d reached a level of independence and strength he wouldn’t have been able to achieve without leaving him. finding out that they were neighbors had certainly been a shock to his system, but he wasn’t completely lying when he told his friends he just needed time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>at the same time, donghyuck was determined not to give in this easily, not after he’d worked so hard to become who he was now. he hopped out of bed, noticing that he couldn’t afford to spend another minute doing nothing since he’d have to leave for work soon. after a quick shower and breakfast, he slipped the note into his pocket and headed out the door with a mission to carry out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-----------------------------------------------------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” mark groaned and banged his head on the steering wheel of his car. he’d just dropped summer off at johnny and jaehyun’s house when he realized that he’d left his flash drive of song demos on his desk at home, which meant he’d have to drive back and get it before heading to the studio for the day. it was at times like these that mark cursed his perfectionism, he was the only producer in the studio who chose to keep his tracks with him at all times, just in case the perfect idea suddenly struck him. it served him well occasionally, but most of the time, it ended up causing more problems than it was worth. he grumbled through a u-turn and began the journey home again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>once mark had retrieved the flash drive (but lost much of his sanity in the process), he stood in front of his door, hopping around awkwardly in his attempts to put his shoes on without needing to waste time by sitting down. a brisk knock sent him tumbling to the ground, and he froze in shock for a moment before deciding to take advantage of his suddenly more convenient position to get his shoes on. a knock rang through the apartment again, and mark hurried to open the door, coming face to face with a very determined-looking donghyuck once he did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck wasted no time shoving the note into mark’s chest, making the older stumble a bit from the force. “prove it,” his voice was quiet but loaded. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“what’s going on? prove what?” mark’s eyes were wide, darting between donghyuck’s face and the arm pushing against him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“this note? if you really meant everything you said, prove it. i’m only giving you one chance if you really want it, but don’t you dare think for one second that you have the power here. you might’ve put me through hell, but i learned my own worth because of it, and i’ll be damned if i let you take that away from me again.” donghyuck’s voice was steady, completely contrasting with the mess of emotions he felt inside. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the color drained from mark’s face as he listened. he really hadn’t thought about what would come after donghyuck read the note, but he could safely say he hadn’t expected this. “so you’re saying,” he started slowly. “that we could be friends again?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“friends, boyfriends, husbands, whatever,” donghyuck waved his hand dismissively. “the point is that you’re gonna have to earn it. show me you’re worth it. show me </span>
  <em>
    <span>i’m </span>
  </em>
  <span>worth it.” his voice had diminished to a whisper by the end, piercing mark’s soul with its intensity. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark was conflicted. he’d dreamed of this for so long, but at the same time, he wasn’t sure he trusted himself to not mess up again. nevertheless, he nodded firmly. “i get it. are you free tomorrow night?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“should i be?” donghyuck cocked his head in a challenge.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“yes. i’m taking you out for dinner. be ready at 7.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the two men locked eyes, waiting to see who would back down first. finally, donghyuck broke the silence. “if you’re late, i’m eating without you.” there was a mischievous glint in his eye, and mark felt some of the tension in the air dissipate. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you won’t have to worry about that, it’s not like i have to go too far to pick you up,” he leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed, a slight smirk on his face. “i’ll be right on time.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you better be,” donghyuck turned to walk to the stairs, </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>needing to leave for work now. but, just before he opened the door to the stairwell, he looked over his shoulder to find mark still watching him. “mark.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“yeah?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“one chance. i mean it.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark responded with a silent nod, and with that, donghyuck was off to work.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hhhhh this should not have taken as long as it did, and updates will probably be even less consistent now that school's starting :( i do have big plans for the next chapter tho, so stay tuned maybe??</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter is where the teen rating comes in</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>despite being a literal child, summer was quite perceptive. often with better accuracy than her father, she picked up on others’ moods easily, so when she noticed that something wasn’t quite right, she knew how to turn on her charms and lighten things up again. of course, she didn’t fully understand how or why she was able to relate to others like that, but in the end, all she wanted was for everyone to be smiling all the time. which was why, when papa’s friend smiled at her with teary eyes and a hint of anger in his face, she promptly burst into tears herself. her sobs didn’t stop, not even when papa rocked her gently in hopes of soothing her. eventually, the father-daughter duo had to excuse themselves and walked home. summer could tell her papa wasn’t happy with her, and that only made her feel worse. as soon as they walked into their apartment, mark sat her down on the sofa with a heavy sigh and kneeled on the floor in front of her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“baby, what happened? i thought you liked papa’s friend,” mark pushed summer’s hair out of her face gently, giving her time to respond.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i- i did,” summer hiccupped. “but papa’s friend didn’t like m-me!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark was visibly surprised but moved to sit on the sofa and pulled his daughter into his lap anyway, letting her cry into his chest for a bit before peeling her away gently. “but he smiled at you! smiles mean people like each other!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“but it wasn’t a </span>
  <em>
    <span>good </span>
  </em>
  <span>smile papa, he didn’t like me,” summer had calmed down a bit, but her words were still punctuated by sniffles. she couldn’t explain why, but something just didn’t feel right.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>as much as mark didn’t want to admit it, he had an idea of what summer meant. he had seen the shift in donghyuck’s face after he’d spotted summer, but he’d thought he could get away with ignoring it. wishful thinking had gotten the best of him once again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---------------------------------------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck was a mess as he scrambled to get ready. mark would be at his door in less than five minutes, and he was worried that </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’d </span>
  </em>
  <span>end up being late despite telling the older not to be. the bell rang right as he swept some lip gloss on, and he sighed in relief as he opened the door. mark was dressed to the nines, clearly wanting to make a good second first impression. he wore a slight smirk on his face that was quickly replaced with a furious blush as donghyuck checked him out unashamedly. donghyuck didn’t look too bad himself, dressed in a shimmery button-up tucked into a slick pair of slacks and tastefully made up in a way that accentuated his best features. he stepped out into the hallway, locking the door behind him, and turned to mark, ready for their adventure. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>after a bit of time spent in transit, the pair found themselves at… a food truck. donghyuck couldn’t deny that he was a bit disappointed, but he was also curious. they were a strange sight, dressed in formal attire in line for food truck nachos, but no one seemed to pay them any mind. they found a bench to enjoy their food on and dug in, eating in a surprisingly comfortable silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“look, i know this is kinda weird, but trust me, i had my reasons,” mark blurted. “i just wanted to make sure you’d feel safe and not like i was trapping you into anything but i also didn’t want it to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>too </span>
  </em>
  <span>casual which is why we’re all dressed up but now i think this is weirder than just taking you to an actual restaurant oh god why did i-” donghyuck shoved a chip in mark’s mouth to keep the older from rambling any longer and tried his best to keep a straight face even though he was losing his mind laughing on the inside. the whole situation was just so… mark. in that moment, donghyuck remembered exactly why he fell for him. it was his unwavering kindness, his willingness to think out of the box just to make someone feel welcome. the warmth in his heart and friendliness in his eyes that drew all different types of people in. just about everyone had a soft spot for mark, which was why the night they broke up had been so disorienting. donghyuck had never felt more distant from mark, it was like he’d been talking to the version of his boyfriend from hell.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>in the moment, he simply smiled and popped another chip into his mouth, wanting to let mark know that he was okay. mark stared for a second, but nodded slightly before starting to eat again, changing the topic and asking the younger man about his work. donghyuck hadn’t thought they were awkward before, but he could feel any remaining tension drain from the air now that mark had cleared his mind. they chatted about their different jobs and how much they loved what they did, but never quite got around to fully catching up on what they’d missed about each other during the years they were apart. neither man felt ready to broach the subject, so an unspoken agreement was made to avoid it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>their dinner ended warmly with the two only parting ways once they got to their respective doors, and donghyuck almost didn’t want to admit it, but he was truly happy. he’d managed to get into an easy groove with mark again, just like the old days. however, he didn’t let his guard down. his whole dramatic speech would’ve been for nothing if he decided to just give in now. mark still had to prove himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>a few weeks went by with much of the same, mark picking donghyuck up for the occasional dinner but mainly opting to show his dedication in smaller ways, like dropping off donghyuck’s favorite coffee order in the mornings and sending him lunch at work when he knew the younger would be too busy to make time to eat. donghyuck enjoyed being cared for, and he let himself get closer to mark naturally. he’d forgotten just how well they matched. they still hadn’t talked about the past, much preferring to talk about the present and future, but somehow, neither of them felt any pressure to bring it up. they realized that the bond they had was incredibly fragile, and they didn’t want to risk breaking it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>one day, donghyuck picked up the phone to hear a frantic mark on the other end, asking if they could postpone their afternoon walk in the park to a time later in the evening. doing so was quite literally a walk in the park since donghyuck had nothing else going on, so he agreed and went about the rest of his day, even deciding to pack a picnic for the two of them to enjoy later. their meeting time rolled around and donghyuck headed to the park early to lay out a blanket and set up the food he had made. he’d decided to try his hand at homemade pizza, since mark had mentioned how long it had been since he’d eaten good pizza, but he had a container of ramen and a few fruits just in case everything went wrong. he’d just finished setting up (and maybe trying a slice of the pizza for himself, but no one had to know) when he spotted mark across the park with a little girl in his arms. he cooed internally at the sight, the girl seemed a bit young to be mark’s sister, but then again, he supposed, they </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>missed out on a decent part of each others’ lives, so anything was possible. but why hadn’t mark mentioned her before?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark made his way to the blanket quickly, apologizing profusely. “i’m so sorry, i wasn’t supposed to have her today but something came up for johnny and jae and i couldn’t find anyone else to watch her, so she’ll have to be here with us, if that’s alright with you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“of course! who is this little cutie anyway? you never mentioned you had a sister.” the girl giggled as donghyuck swept her out of mark’s arms and spun her around.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“her name’s summer, she’s… my daughter.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck stopped spinning suddenly, but made sure to hold her tightly so she wouldn’t go flying. “oh,” he smiled tightly. “summer, bub, how old are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark winced, bracing for the inevitable fallout. summer beamed and held out her hand, “i’m four!” she exclaimed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>as he did the math, donghyuck’s face didn’t drop for more than a second before he schooled his expression back into something brighter and more kid-friendly, but the tears in his eyes gave him away as he smiled back at summer, wondering where he went wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-------------------------------------------------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>summer had tired herself out after crying for so long, and mark was able to put her to bed easily. it was both a blessing and a curse, because although he was grateful for the quiet, it meant that he was now alone with his thoughts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>in hindsight, he should’ve just cancelled their date/hangout/friendship session for the day. he wasn’t ready to introduce summer to donghyuck, and donghyuck sure as hell hadn’t been ready to meet her. he also felt bad about basically running away once summer had started breaking down, but he hadn’t known what else to do. he glanced at the clock; it was 11pm but he could still hear music coming from donghyuck’s apartment, so he decided to go over and apologize for leaving so rudely, if nothing else. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>he felt just as nervous now as he did when he knocked on donghyuck’s door for the first time, which was slightly disappointing considering that they’d put so much work into forging a connection again. the music playing within the apartment cut out as soon as he knocked, a heavy silence falling over the two men as donghyuck answered the door and stood in front of him, looking less than thrilled to see him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“can i help you?” donghyuck asked not unkindly, but devoid of any emotion. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“maybe? i just wanted to apologize for leaving so suddenly earlier, that wasn’t very-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“look, it’s fine, i get it. you cheated on me and wanted to hide it, but you couldn’t keep her away from me any longer.” donghyuck sounded resigned, like he’d already accepted the truth. “just… leave me alone. i can’t give you any more chances.” he moved to close the door, but mark held it open with a surprising amount of strength. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“lee donghyuck.” his voice came from deep within his chest, almost growling as he spoke. “i may have been an absolute piece of </span>
  <em>
    <span>shit </span>
  </em>
  <span>in college, but i will </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>let you think i cheated on you. you meant the world to me for so long, even drunk me knew better than to break your heart like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“then how do you explain summer? her age lines up perfectly.” donghyuck crossed his arms defiantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark threw his hands up in exasperation. “okay, so i fucked a girl maybe a week after we broke up, and, surprise, she got pregnant. we weren’t even together, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>i wouldn’t hurt you like that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“yeah, but you hurt me in so many other ways. this wouldn’t be impossible,” donghyuck’s voice was little more than a whisper, his insecurities starting to take hold of him again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark took one look at donghyuck’s face and </span>
  <em>
    <span>broke. </span>
  </em>
  <span>he collapsed to the floor, chest heaving as he struggled to breathe through his sobs. he knew it was wrong, he knew he didn’t deserve to cry when he was the one who’d hurt donghyuck so badly, but it wasn’t just about him anymore. he cried for summer, who might never feel the love of two parents. he cried for donghyuck, who’d held onto his pain for so long. he cried for johnny and jaehyun, who he’d burdened with more than they should’ve had to shoulder. he cried for a lost love that could’ve changed the world with their joy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck was shocked. he’d never seen mark in such despair and he had no idea how to help. so, he didn’t. he closed the door behind him and sat beside mark, simply letting him be, but not letting him be alone. that turned out to be the best course of action as mark calmed down and turned away from donghyuck, groaning in embarrassment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i-i’m sorry,” mark sniffled. “i just… i can’t lose you again. i’ve been without you for so long already and it’s been so hard. these past few weeks have been the happiest i’ve felt in a while, and i know it’s all because you’re here again. you’re what i’ve been missing. seriously, when i take a look at my life, and all of my crimes, you’re the only thing that i think i got right.” he paused to draw in a deep breath. “but, you have every right to push me away. i get it, i really do. honestly, maybe it’d be better for me too, since i clearly have some things to work out on my own.” he chuckled half-heartedly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck was silent as he processed everything he heard. it was a lot to take in. he wanted so badly to be able to believe mark and make everything okay again, but he just… couldn’t. not yet, anyway. nevertheless, he scooted closer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“no. stay. we never really talked about everything anyway, so maybe this is our chance?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark hesitated, and donghyuck started to regret asking him to stay and talk. “well, i mean, we don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>have</span>
  </em>
  <span> to or anything, but i just thought-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“it’s okay, i think that’s a good idea, but… can we go to my place? i hate leaving summer alone.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck nodded as he stood and held his hand to help mark up, both of them cautiously optimistic about the idea of a new beginning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-------------------------------------------------------------------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark and donghyuck sat on mark’s sofa in silence, steaming cups of tea set out in front of them. “i don’t know how much it means at this point, but i want to hear your side of everything,” mark couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact, choosing to stare into his tea instead. “i think i know how you feel, and i get why, but i want the chance to hear it from you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“are you sure? it’s… a lot.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark took a deep breath. “yes. i owe you this, at least.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>and so, donghyuck told his story. he started from the very beginning, when he realized just how much he loved mark. he took the older through his thoughts throughout the relationship, emphasizing the good but not sugarcoating the bad. mark held on to donghyuck’s every word, and his need to finally understand donghyuck showed clearly on his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>eventually, they came to the night everything ended. mark braced himself as donghyuck choked on his tears and had to stop talking for a second. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“it was like i didn’t even know you anymore,” donghyuck was trembling. “and that was always my biggest fear, us being strangers to each other and losing the connection we’d had for so long. i wish we’d talked more, i wish you’d let me in on that new part of your life so i didn’t constantly feel like i was being left behind. part of me gets it, you were in a new place with new people and you wanted to experience all of it, but you made me feel like i was nothing to you. like you were okay with moving on without me. and then when you said i didn’t get what it was like there… well, obviously i didn’t! you never gave me a chance to! i was always holding on tight because i was scared of losing you, but that moment made me realize how one-sided everything was. i texted and called you first for </span>
  <em>
    <span>months. </span>
  </em>
  <span>and on some level, i’m mad at myself too for letting everything go on as long as it did. i could’ve saved both of us so much pain, and that was something i struggled with for a long time. so the idea that you cheated on me… always felt possible. you were just so </span>
  <em>
    <span>distant. </span>
  </em>
  <span>whether it was because i wasn’t enough or i was too much, i don’t know, but i do know now that i didn’t deserve it either way.” his voice cracked at the end, but he cleared his throat and kept going. “it was scary for a long time. i knew how to be me without you, but i hadn’t done it in years. i missed having you as my anchor on those nights when things got crazy. i missed </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but i knew you didn’t miss me.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark’s head was buried in his hands. donghyuck’s words echoed in his mind and he couldn’t stop the tears that escaped his eyes. a heavy silence blanketed the two men and they simply let themselves </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck had always hated having to relive that night, but this time was different. as the silence went on, an indescribable peace washed over him. at this point, he knew he’d done all he could to make mark understand what he’d gone through, and he supposed that that was all he’d wanted the whole time. he’d been angry for a while, but he knew now that there was no point in holding a grudge. it wouldn’t change the past.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>his words echoed in mark’s mind, bouncing around every crevice until there was no part of him left untouched. honestly, mark had no idea how donghyuck had mustered up the kindness to even give him another chance. it was clear that he’d hurt donghyuck’s soul in a way he’d never intended to. maybe it was time for him to go. but before that, there was something he needed to let the other man know. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i never told you why i named her summer.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“is that important right now?” donghyuck was annoyed, to say the least. “are you seriously telling me that you’re ignoring </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything </span>
  </em>
  <span>i just said?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“just… listen.” mark pleaded. donghyuck sighed and gestured for mark to continue. “when i found out that the girl i hooked up with was pregnant, i had no idea what to do. i wasn’t in love with her, but i wanted to give my baby a fair chance at life with two parents who loved her, even if they weren’t together. so, we tried staying friends for a bit. we argued about names a lot, i never liked anything she picked and she got mad at me for it. the thing was, i wanted my baby to carry a piece of you with her, but i couldn’t exactly name her donghyuck. the name summer popped into my head one night and i realized it was perfect. when i think of you, i think of hot nights by the lake spent staring up at the stars. i think of hands sticky with ice cream and bike rides in the sunshine. but most of all, i think of your warmth and ability to draw everyone to you, no matter who they are, just like the summer sun. and honestly, i couldn’t have chosen a better name. she reminds me of you more and more every day, and i’m taking that to mean that i’m doing a good job raising her,” mark gulped and went on. “it’s always been you. i never forgave myself for everything i did, but i knew that if i had the chance again, i’d choose you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>after a few seconds of donghyuck staring at him in shock, mark chugged the last of his tea and stood up abruptly. “i’m glad we had this talk but it’s late and i know you have work tomorrow, so come on, i’ll walk you to the door and then you’ll never have to see me aga-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“mark lee,” donghyuck’s voice was barely audible. “you’re crazy if you think i’m gonna just walk away after all of that.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i mean… you have every right to, i wouldn’t be mad or anyth-” mark was cut off again, but this time by the sensation of warm lips on his own. his eyes widened for a split second before he let himself relax into the kiss, his hands naturally finding donghyuck’s waist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck pulled away just as suddenly as he’d initiated things and giggled as mark tried to chase him. the mood dropped a bit as he stepped further back, but he never lost the slight smile that danced across his lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“so, when can i properly meet my mini-me?” donghyuck’s eyes were sparkling with mischief once again, and mark felt himself fall even further. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“you’re sure about this? even after everything?”</span>
  <span><br/>
<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“i’ll be honest, i don’t think jumping into a relationship right away would be good for either of us, but i’m willing to take it slow and try again, if that’s something you’d want too.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“...how slow were you thinking? i forgot how much i missed kissing you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“mmm, i’ll allow kisses just for tonight,” donghyuck teased. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>mark didn’t waste any time pushing donghyuck up against the nearest wall and connecting their lips once again. their hands roamed each other’s bodies feverishly, almost like they were trying to make up for lost time. donghyuck gasped as mark finally slipped his hand under his shirt, and mark took advantage of his surprise to deepen the kiss further. donghyuck’s knees nearly buckled from the arousal that ran through his body, and he gripped mark’s hair tightly to ground himself. however, before things got too heated, mark pulled away and rested his forehead against donghyuck’s, both of them panting heavily. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“what happened to taking it slow?” mark squeezed donghyuck’s waist playfully, smiling in satisfaction at how he shivered in his arms. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“fuck taking it slow,” donghyuck groaned. “i want you </span>
  <em>
    <span>now.</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“nope,” mark popped the “p” to emphasize it and pulled donghyuck in closer until almost every part of their bodies were touching. “seriously. i don’t want you to regret anything.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>donghyuck sighed and rested his chin on mark’s shoulder. “fine. not because i’ll regret it, but only because we agreed on this before.”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<span>“works for me,” mark nuzzled his face into donghyuck’s neck and took a deep breath, letting himself drown in the scent that was so unmistakably </span>
  <em>
    <span>donghyuck. </span>
  </em>
  <span>he’d missed this. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry this took so long :( this chapter was actually really hard for me to write since i put a lot of myself and my fears about my own relationship into the story, and hyuck's feelings are actually based almost completely on how i felt a few days ago when i was broken up with. either way, it's always a joy to write for these two, but i think the next chapter will be my last one!! i can't wait to get it out there, i'm actually excited hehe</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. update!!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>hello!! </p>
<p>i'm so sorry if it seems like i've abandoned this fic :(( a lot of big changes happened for me over the past few months since i started writing this, and i guess my need to make sure i finish it exactly how i want to got in the way of me actually writing. however! i do have most of the final chapter written at this point, so if anyone's still sticking around, pls anticipate it being posted sometime in january! i'm too attached to this fic to let it just sit unfinished, so i'll do my best to get it done asap :D</p>
<p>if anyone's still reading this, thank you so much for all of your support. the comments i got on this fic were what made me want to keep writing, and i'm so glad i did :) happy holidays, stay safe!! -sunny</p>
<p>p.s. if the chapter's not out by mid-january, pls yell at me here or on twt (@fuiipeach), i'm posting this to hold myself accountable &gt;:(</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm excited to share my first fic w y'all, and i'm looking forward to updating this as time goes on! thank you for reading and like i said, let me know if there's anything i could do better!!</p><p>come talk to me about this fic, nct, or literally anything on my twt (@fuIIpeach w capital i's instead of L's!!) :D</p></blockquote></div></div>
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